credence

hello my forest friends, how are we today? this marks day 2 of my social media cleanse and I found myself sort of yearning for Instagram so I could post an IG story of my dinner today. Guess I really do need to get it out of my system.

Anywho, the other day someone asked me if I believed in any sort of deity - a god perhaps and I answered with a, "No, I'd like to consider myself as an atheist." Usually, people sort of leave it at that, but this person responded with a query as to "why did you choose to be an atheist?" and I was stumped for a moment. 

Why? 

"Because there is no proof, no tangible, logical proof of the existence of a higher being." I replied after a moment's hesitation. 

And of course, said person tried to explain their experiences ("ahem proof") with their God to which I disappeared out of sight. Thankfully with online platforms, you can easily just close the page with a tap of a button. The question, however, lingered in my mind for the longest of all times and I thought to myself - when and why? Was there a specific incident in my life that made me go, "yeah, there's no god."?

When I was a child in my early years, I was brought up with my Christian cousins and went to a Christian school. Church camps were obviously a huge thing - I loved them - mostly for the wrong reasons; I was there mostly to scare the kids with my ghost stories. Did I read the Bible? Yeah. Do I remember anything from the Bible? No. 

The most memorable thing was my frustration with having to pray before every meal, before we started our classes and before we went home. I do not have any recollection of anything else, Kindergarten was sort of a blur for me except for that one school play where I was a bee or some butterfly.

So I thought about it, long and hard. There was really nothing in my life that "turned" me to atheism because simply, atheism is not a choice. You either do believe in a 'supreme being' or you do not. If you do not, you are an atheist - whether you want to or not.

Rationally, there has never been ANY objective or solid evidence of any god.

Look at it this way, people choose to believe in God because they want faith, they trust the people who are their religious leaders. Faith fosters hope, belief fosters faith and they make this conscious decision to accept said religious teachings. Theism, in return, requires faith because there is no verifiable evidence.

People do not decide to become atheists, they simply realize that there is no god.

And that is what I am. 

I wasn't born into a conservative household, my mom is a freethinker and my dad wanted us to find our own path in regard to religion. I had the power and the internet to divulge and learn about other religions but I am thoroughly through and through, an atheist. Although I do find myself leaning a little bit towards an agnostic after deeper research through Reddit forums and research. An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in a god, while an agnostic is someone who doesn't believe it's possible to know for sure that a god exists. 

So did I lose faith in the teachings in my Kindergarten years?

No, I guess I never had any from the beginning. 

x

evelyn